


Alone in This World

by CeceTA



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Hurt and comfort, Isolation, Loneliness, Party, tw: panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-30
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-07-27 03:02:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20038849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeceTA/pseuds/CeceTA
Summary: She'd completely disregarded him. It was as if he never actually meant anything to her in the first place.It was as if he didn't exist.—————Adrien Agreste has always struggled with friendship and the feeling of isolation. One day, the emotions all pile up.





	Alone in This World

Growing up in solitude was much harder than anyone around him thought. They were all blinded by the facade he constantly wore and never bothered to try and see past it—his family was prosperous, and many assumed that brought happiness.

But no abundance riches could ever make up for how truly alone he felt in this world. 

Sure, he had Chloé, but was she a true friend? Not really. But at least Adrien had someone to create the illusion of false hope he desperately craved; the false hope that made him feel as if he wasn't isolated from the bustling life of the city around him. 

It didn't mean that it was true, though. 

All Adrien wanted was a true friend—someone who knew him like the back of their hand. Every birthday wish was spent on the same thing. Every year, Adrien hoped that he'd finally find someone he could truly be himself around; someone who would make him inexplicably happy. 

Last month, on his thirteenth birthday, he'd wished yet again. But (as with every time before) the wish never came true.

Chloe's party last week certainly hadn't helped how he felt. He'd managed to convince his parents to let him attend said party on the condition that he would do extra work for an entire week afterwards. 

Adrien vividly remembered being dropped off by his mother who reminded him that their home was only next door and to call if he felt like he needed to leave at any point. 

"I'll be fine," he had remarked. "I'm sure I'll have a great time tonight!"

But he was wrong.

He thought that he would be able to make friends with one person, but every time he tried to talk to someone, they either ignored him or he struggled to even get any words out in the first place. 

After those failed attempts, he went in search of Chloé—she wasn't all that hard to find, though, seeing as she was the host.

Adrien had expected her to come running towards him like she usually would whenever they hung out together. That didn't happen, though. 

He remembered spotting her across the room, his lips curling into a smile as he lifted his hand to wave to her.

Adrien swore he had felt his heart shatter into thousands of unfixable, scattered fragments when her glance landed on him for a split-second before moving away again so that she could continue talking to the group of teenagers around her. 

The joyous expression on his face fell, and he could feel a strange, queasy feeling building up within him.

She'd completely disregarded him. It was as if he never actually meant anything to her in the first place. 

It was as if he didn't exist.

Once again, Adrien had felt the familiar feeling of being truly alone. He had no friends by his side despite there being so many people in the enormous room. 

Everything around him had suddenly felt louder and brighter, and he had begun to panic as he felt lost within the crowd of people. 

Adrien had sprinted away that night, arriving home a mere half-hour after he'd left. He wasn't supposed to have left until two hours later. 

————————

Adrien sprinted up the stairs of the mansion, his footsteps echoing around the large foyer as tears ran down his eyes. 

"Adrien! Adrien, get back here right now!"

He ignored the shouts of his father as he ran into his bedroom, slamming the door behind him with a loud bang. Adrien pressed his back against the door and slid down it as tears flowed from his eyes and sobs wracked his body.

Gone; missing; vanished without a trace. 

That's what his father had told him. Adrien felt as if it wasn't the whole truth, but it didn't change the fact that she—his mother—was gone. 

The only person who brought light to his ever-dulling life had disappeared. 

Why? Why him? Did the universe really hate him that much?

It took Nathalie weeks to get him to actually smile again after that.

————————

The sound of a ding emitted from Adrien's phone, catching his attention. He picked it up from his coffee table to see that he'd been sent a photo from Nino. 

It was another photo of everyone hanging out without him.

A familiar sinking feeling rose in his gut at the sight of it. He couldn't help that he was the kid that wasn't allowed out to group activities.

The worst part about it was the fact that nobody had even asked him. Nobody had thought to check if he was free for once while organising this outing. 

For the first time in what felt like forever, Adrien was free. He actually had a day off his various sports and studies to focus on practicing for a piano recital. He didn't tell his father or Nathalie that he already had it memorised, though. 

Adrien breathed in deeply, trying to calm himself down before anything bad happened. In, and out. In, and out.

It wasn't working.

Moments later, Adrien felt his heart rate quicken as well as his breathing rate. His chest ached from the hyperventilation. Tears began to cascade down his cheeks uncontrollably as he clutched at his chest, hoping that this would end soon.

Adrien's eyes closed shut as the light shining through his windows became more and more unbearable, and he covered his ears in an attempt to block out the noise of the city around him. 

He tried to stand up so that he could walk to the bathroom but fell to his knees as black spots began to blur his vision. Adrien was already getting lightheaded, and he felt as if he may faint soon. 

Adrien's body shook as he cradled himself, trying to even out his breathing. His face was wet, and his hair was badly mussed up, strands of hair sticking in all directions. 

Why did he look at that stupid photo?! He should have expected it by now—it wasn't the first time this had happened, after all.

So as he fully collapsed to the ground—his vision turning fuzzier and fuzzier by the second—he thought about all the previous times he'd missed out. 

Loneliness; isolation; entrapment. He would never escape those familiar feelings and would forever remain alone in this cruel world.

.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

**Alternate ending**

"Adrien!"

He looked up through blurry vision to see Nathalie burst into the room, her worried eyes landing on him a moment later. 

She ran over and kneeled beside him, placing her hands on his shoulders. In his peripheral vision, Adrien registered his father stood in the doorway. 

"Adrien, look at me," she commanded. "Breath with me, okay?"

He nodded, taking deep breaths in and out as she did. Eventually, his breathing rate began to return to normal. He still couldn't shake the queasy feeling he felt inside, though. That would probably stick for another few hours.

"Thank you," he muttered, his voice strained. Adrien wiped the remaining tears from his eyes as he looked from her away and down at his lap. 

Maybe the camera they installed in his room the other day wasn't such a bad thing after all. If it weren't there, he'd probably be unconscious by now. 

"Adrien," he heard a deep voice say. The blond-haired teen looked up to see his father stood in front of him, a bunch of tissues in his hand. Adrien took the tissues from his father's outstretched hand, mumbling a quiet thank you. 

————————

The next day had a painful start, to say the least. 

Firstly, his three friends were all stood together on the stairs and didn't even notice when his car pulled up. They were too busy looking at something on Alya's phone, smiling and laughing together. 

Adrien bit his lip as he weighed up his options in his head. He could either go up to them and try to join in on the conversation or walk past them. 

A few seconds later, Adrien chose the latter and hurriedly ran up the stairs and into the school. He'd already missed some of whatever they were looking at. He would have just felt out-of-the-loop so there was no point in trying to join in anyway, right? It's not like he'd understand, anyway. 

The second thing that was out-of-the-ordinary to happen to him that day was the fact that Miss Bustier had asked him to stay behind at the end of the day. 

"I received a call from your father's assistant at lunch," she informed him, a concerned expression on her face. "She told me what happened yesterday. I also noticed that you didn't seem like your usual self today."

Adrien's gaze moved around the room, looking anywhere but her.

"Adrien, I can tell you for a fact that your friends do love you. They're worried about you, too."

Miss Bustier let out a deep sigh when Adrien still didn't respond, his gaze set on the darkening sky outside the window.

"You can go now."

He briskly paced out of the classroom, taking long strides so that he could get out of the building sooner. If he was fast enough, maybe he wouldn't run into anyone.

Unfortunately, it seemed he wasn't fast enough.

Adrien didn't expect to see Marinette, Nino and Alya stood at the entrance waiting for him. When they spotted him, their looks of worry doubled and they started walking toward him. 

Adrien froze in his tracks, his eyes widening as he looked for a way to get around them. His gaze flitted around, trying to look anywhere but at them. 

"We're sorry," Marinette apologised, hanging her head as she nervously clasped and unclasped her hands. "We should have called you yesterday."

"It's fine." Adrien mumbled in response, his hand clutching tightly at his bag strap as he looked past them to see if his bodyguard was waiting for him yet. 

"But it's not 'fine'!" Nino snapped, wincing afterward at how loud he'd shouted the words.

"He's right. We promise to always check to see if you're available from now on." Alya responded, sending him a genuine, apologetic smile. 

When Marinette opened her arms as an invitation for a hug, he cautiously walked forward and wrapped his arms around her torso, nuzzling his face in her soft, dark hair. Moments later, he felt Alya and Nino join the hug.

A feeling of warmth bloomed in his chest, and Adrien felt a small smile creeping onto his lips.

And for the first time, he felt as if he wasn't truly alone in this world.


End file.
